Night TYME Suprise

Holla, so like last week I was at my bro Tylers awesome house WARMIN party and I was totally gonna nosh down like 3 40s when all these dudes came in the joint lookin like laddies. My buddy Khris is all “Fuck dude!! Those bitches be the Smoothnastiis brah, they’ll suck your cock for like drug money SON” I fucked her darky ass till the mornin showed the fuck up and looked down and saw 2 dicks rubbin’ and was like “OH SHIT I’Z GOT ANOTHER DICK!!!” Dunno where they hell it went man. Anywayz I never called that shorty again cuz I like just having the one shaft and all, crazy fuckin night though, shit bro……shit.

4TH OF JULY

Tiiiimboooooooo!!@!!

motherfucker man! i can't believe we pulled it off. that shit was like the great pussy heist of 2009! shit man if i wrote history books that'd be the cover. it'd be printed in like fuckin full color and you could see all this detail n'shit. so anywayz tim i can't believe that shit man you had that blonde girl just drippin with MIZOISTness just shootin off your sweet rocket into the river man!! you totally aimed right at that duck or whatever and fuckin that shit was great when it got all on fire! DUDE cindy was so pissed because her boyfriend is some fag vegetarian and he was all crying in teh corner but who givers a shit, that was off the chain! anyway i hope we can bang that blonde girl together again. it was awesome when we gave her the 'tower of power' super move! she's gonna remember timbro and dave for the rest of her life!!!!!!!!!!22!~

This weekend is going to be the BOMB DIGGITY

Yo Dogs!! Its the best time to be alive! Just saw Transformers 2 and my girl just left me! Not only am I free again, I have a new favorite movie. I think Iam going to take Christine or Kylie P. to see it at my theater. I can get free tickets and even popcorn with my new Manager Position!! Maybe if they are lucky, and yeah i do mean both girls at the same time, i can give them teh manager position. you know, show them the Business. If you smell my drifts. Have any of you guys ever tried that hole in the bottom of the popcorn bag trick? I just did it, but that was just a test run. I got plastic bags and double salt this time. I mean i thought it was funny. Whatevs. There are just way too many bitches here in Scottsdale, dude. I got 9 girls numbers last week. 9! Beat that bros! I love Colorado. also regional powder puff football fundraiser Aug. 8th 6pm! 1love- Gar "Keebler" Ellve

Holla from Kuwait!;)

About 6 months ago, I was in Miami Florida on leave because of "my foot" (CJ Couger! You know whats up!! 6/23) and this broad rolls up with some pale guys in tow. They were wearing white pants! NE way. Im guessing she was like a 32b or c cup and she had that hot hot orange tan with that bleached hair. This is at a party BTW so i see her and LOCKON (CJ you feel me) to this honey with the best line ever. "Evening, Beautiful! Who the fuck are these faggots?!" and before she can say anything im all like, "You know waht i dont even care! Stick with the K-Dog, and all my boys behind me were like "SHOOTERS ARE ON HIM!" LOL ah man you shoulda been there bro. I had a clam salad and I bought that bitch a necklace! - Peace out
K-Dog

DAVE AND BRAD

Hey bros! It's great to be here!!!

COOLSTORYBRO

Trying to get all the best stories from all my old bros and little brolings from about the globe! Like check this out guys. I got good at writing last semester so dont feel intimidated when you read this gold.
It was last year. All the Theta house girls with the matching tatoos were playing pong on the roof and it started to rain. If you were there youd understand the words of wisdom that I heard that night from the coolest dude in Kappa My man CJ! "OH! Bro, dude.... nah brah dude, ah." i just stared at his new diggs and with out trying used my psychic spider sense and was like "Cool, coolstory bro!!Fuckin..... can I borrow your house?" The Orioles won game 3 and then we high fived. 3 girls with the seethrouingest shirts came in the house soaking wet came down stairs and me and CJ were like "Damn! Get the camera" I did. Cj got the short one with the biggest tits I ever seen and I got teh darker chick, i think she was like Indian, a beer, the other one was ugly but , so and we mad e them drinking the beers to go up and we fucked them in the new house in the same bunk beds that i share now. During when we fucked i said "this is the best night of my life" and from bunk beds we high fived. Big tits shorty puked and I was like "cool story bro!" That is where cool story bro came from. Indian girl got fat this year so we dont talk. Thanks mom and dad.